Classical Ventation

I know it has been a loooooong time since I last wrote on here and to be honest I truly forgot that I had this blog up and running. But enough about that I would like to just get a few things off my mind in what I like to call Ventation.During the middle of this last semester I was having some problems at home which forced me to make some bigger then BIG decisions. One of those being to move out and move it with my boyfried who is now my fiance and will hopefully one day soon be my husband. My fiance Caylon Thede and I got engaged on April 16th 2012 after we have been together for over a year. Oh before I forget I want to take a second and tell Lauren what a great job she did on the interview paper with him. It was really good. Any old which way back to venting. One....If the only time you are going to call me to tell me what I am doing wrong please please please don't. I am not going to mention names so don't try to get them out of me. Two.....if I forget an important date I am sorry and will try and make it up to you eventually. I know people say it'll get better and right now it slowly is but that is saved for a different blog entry.*RANDOM* it is kind of amazing how much thought comes out of me at 2;40 in the morning. Again..........I guess with everything that is going on in my life I am trying to do my best to be as Dude (from The Big Lebowski) as possible and simply just abide and let it happen. So far it is working. I know this is probably more personal then you all wanted to know but frankly I do not care. It is stuff that I feel like I need to get off my chest. So much better then bottling it up. I'm not angry at anyone who has molded and caused my life to be what it is now. In a sick wierd twisted strange bizzare way I thank them every day in my own special way. I guess that is all I have to say right now and I am sorry if I offended anyone, hurt anyone, or gave them more then they needed to know but like I said it is things that needed to be said.

Journalism? Really?

When people ask me what my chosen major is I always get quiet a few weird looks. For me it is easy to tell them that I want to be a Journalism major. I love journalism and have always loved it since I was a junior in high school. This love developed out of the skills I found I possessed when it came to photography. Freshman year in high school I decided to take a photography class and saw what I could create which lead me to enter photography competitions through out my high school career. I won a few and placed second in others, this got me thinking “maybe there is more to this? “as lame as this sounds I thought there was some kind of sign that these skills were giving me. I quickly learned that my brain works a little differently, what I mean, not to sound crazy, but I can look at certain things and see how to make them into a good photograph. To me this both a curse and blessing sometimes. I love having it either way. I always want to develop these skills and really hope to keep them for a long time. Hmmm my mind is starting to wander. What to write! Ahhhh I have an idea! To me journalism is a way to express yourself through pictures and a story. I currently work on the campus paper and hope to find a job working with a newspaper or other printed media. I don’t know why I find this field so interesting. I think it is because a lot of people can see the work that it took you hours or days to produce and get finalize but your staff. The staff effort is also what draws me to the field even more.

                                   This is one of the many photos i have taken for journalism.

Lost in Space?

What to write about? I have no idea. I am starting to run out of ideas for this blog and the funny thing is is that I have to do more entries. I hope I can think of something. I seem so out of it today. I have no idea why. It’s like I am here physically but not mentally. Granted yes I woke up at 5am to talk to my boyfriend as he got of off work and then I went back to bed until about five minuets ago. But seriously why am I so spacey today? I am thinking it is because I don’t have to work today and quite possibly the fact that I don’t have fifty million thoughts running through my head. I kinda like it. Just kinda though. I have the television on in the background but I am not really watching it or listening to it, I am just kind of staring at it until I get an idea of what to write. The same principle goes with facebook. I really have zero ideas what so ever. I even tried thinking of what I needed to get done today and I can’t even do that. Is there something wrong with me? I hope not. I really hope not. Ok maybe that statement was a bit odd. Well it fits because this whole day is a bit strange and odd. Very odd indeed. Almost at my three hundred words and I still have no idea what to write about. Geez only two fifty four and still zero idea. I am starting to hate this blog. Ok maybe that is a bit harsh. I don’t hate. I just don’t like it right now because I don’t have any ideas on what to write about what so ever. Finally over three hundred words!

What in the world?

As I sit watching the classic James Dean Movie Rebel Without a Cause I realized that I had the perfect opportunity to write my blog. My mind started to wander and then I realized how boring the start of this movie was. This led me to think back to what happened earlier today. I was hoping I could get some ideas from that but alas no. My mind started in on work. I work in a small little town grocery store and I had to work with the one person I can’t stand. She always talks down to me and her mood is like a light switch. When she and I work so many times I wonder to myself what makes her so much better then me? Yeah I get it you have been here longer then me but I think I know just as much as you about the job and if I don’t I ask. You are supposed to answer my questions not belittle me. What does make her better then me? Is it simply the fact that she has been there longer or is it some sort of complex that she has? I feel as if I can’t talk to her so I just keep to myself. It’s better that way. Or is it? Anyway, why are people the way they are? Why do we treat people the way we do? I have been told by many other co-workers that they really enjoy working with me, but anyway that is totally off topic. What makes one person so much better then another? Is it how we act? Is it how we are brought up? Or is it something entirely different. I seriously think it is the latter option. So I ask again what makes one person better then another? Someone please tell me because I have no idea.

What Matters?

I was sitting alone on my couch thinking about what to write for my blog when nothing came to mind. So I thought I would continue with my last blog. I took the time to expand on it. I took it out of the real of English and well blogging and put it in to the realm of over all general everyday boring same old same old life. What really matters in life? Does School? Family? Religion?  Love? In a way yes all of them do matter but the order depends on the person.  How much also depends on the person as well. I hate thinking about this sometimes because when people ask me to put them in order I get funny looks. Yes school and my family matter to me but my boyfriend means a little more for multiple reasons. These are mostly personal reasons that I would rather not share on my blog. I’m starting to question often why we put some things, ideas, and beliefs above others in our lives. What makes one more important then another?  I guess there is no real reason for why. Maybe the way we our brought up has something to do with this. Wow this is harder then I thought it would be.  I really don’t know any other way to argue this. I honestly don’t think that there is any other way to argue this. I probably sound stupid arguing this as it is. I really don’t know what else to write about this. This whole blog is difficult when you have no clue what to argue. Why do we even have to argue why can’t we write about anything that we want? That seems like it would be a lot easier for everyone involved and aren’t we achieving the same result. Just a thought.

Does it matter....really?

I woke up this morning and realized I had yet to do a blog for my English 102 class. I really don’t know what to pick as a topic. That lead me to think about why I am writing this blog. Is it really important? I guess it is, not just because the professor tells us it is but it is really helping me with my writing. I used to be really afraid to put my writing out for others to see. I normally just write for myself or the person that I am closes to in my life and that is it. This started my thinking, why do we tend to hide our thoughts from people? Is it because of our fear of the judgment that they may cast on us? Or is it something more? Is it just human nature? I am not really sure. I definitely think that it depends on the person who writes it and the person who reads the author’s piece. Yes the fear plays a part in it because we are “trained” in a way to feel nervous and fearful about what we produce and how it will be perceived once we are finished. I also think that it is human nature to judge things that are new, be it because we are skeptical of them or we just think the old version is better. In a way this kind of relates, although yes it off topic, of how people go to the same places at the same times on the same days.  I noticed this a lot when I worked in a restaurant and still notice it at my new job at the Piggly Wiggly in the small town of Howards Grove. In a way asking if this is important turned into proving that every one in society is a creature of habit. Just a thought.      

People or Punching Bags

Tonight is the 28^th of January. It’s 9:49 at night. Sitting here alone working on my homework got me started thinking about my boyfriend. Not entirely sure why. I am pretty sure it was because I had recently spent hours upon hours talking to him about both of our experiences in life as we begin planning for the future. So now you are probably asking where the argument comes in well I am getting to that. Well now is a better time then any to start it. While he was talking about his experiences in foster care inside my own mind I was thinking what gives someone the right to treat a person like he has been treated? I don’t see any right what so ever to have a loaded gun pointed in your face and fired at you. I am sure many people will think that that is taking things too far but what about the things done by the foster “parents”? He has told me that one of his foster homes used to use him as basically a slave and dished out what they called punishment on a regular basis. From what he has described this is not punishment at all. It saddens me to think that there are people who think that children deserve this. Times have changed since those people have grown up. I argue that punishment such as this cause the child mental harm as they grow up. Parents argue that it forces the child to respect their parents. I highly think not because I have personally seen the effects it has on people that have grown up in these situations. It hurts me to see the pain in his eyes when he talks about, I also am the one who sees the look in his eyes and how he questions all of what has happened.  This is even a hard topic for me to talk about with out getting to personal. If you are interested check out the paper I wrote on Foster care reform and then if you have the guts tell me it is right to have this happen to you.